oh noes, teh Pirates!

Posted on April 30, 2013

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Another fine developer brought down by pirates strikes back with wit and flair! Or so this article based (loosely) on this developer’s blog post would have you believe. Hoo-haw! Pirates complaining that the game-development sim they pirated won’t let them win because of -get this- simulated piracy! Oh, it’s priceless!

Except…

If anyone had actually pirated the game, there would be no simulated piracy stopping them from succeeding. The simulated piracy is not in the for-sale copies of the game. The simulated piracy was added to the game to make a new version. A new version which the devs themselves then distributed for free via torrent.

So, the game that can’t be won due to piracy can’t have been pirated. No one who is complaining that they can’t win due to piracy has pirated the game. The entire “ironic” blog post (and subsequent articles based on it) is undermined by the fact that they gave their game away for free.

Oh-ho, the corporate-brainwashed masses echo the devs, the torrenters obviously intended to pirate the game, because everyone is a greedy thieving shithead trying to screw hapless content developers, and the torrent even said ‘cracked and working’. Cracked. They knew. They KNEW!!

If I intend to pirate a game, I need to know the game exists first. I need to think to myself: I want game X, but I’ll never pay for it because (under no circumstance will I ever have the money for it)/(I’m a greedy prick), so I’ll find a copy somewhere. Then I need to go looking for the copy, find it, and download it.

Who has ever heard of Game Dev Tycoon (before the dev blogpost, subsequent article(s), and this blogpost)? More importantly, who heard of it the same day it was first made available for sale? I’d say next to nobody. I don’t think anybody was out looking to pirate Game Dev Tycoon. I think people were out looking for a new game they could get for free and stumbled across it. I think people downloaded it to see what it was without noticing or caring whether it was -dun dun DUNNNN- cracked. Which, I feel the need to remind, it wasn’t. It actually was a free game. Distributed by the devs via torrent. For free.

Further, I think the devs set this all up on purpose to gain publicity. Because, again, who has ever heard of Game Dev Tycoon (before the dev blogpost, subsequent article(s), and this blogpost)?

Even further, I think devs who would set up a situation in which they disparage a bunch of people who did not pirate their game as pirates of their game, and then make fun of them for complaining about the brokenness of their intentionally broken game bacause piracy. Irony. Publicity.

Arseholery. Utter arseholery. Congratulations, Greenheart Games, I will never buy your products because you are arseholes. But don’t feel too bad – I probably never would have heard of them anyhow.

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Posted in: blogposts